I read a post on Thought Catalog called 21 Things You Should Know Before You Date A Grammar Nerd. I thought that, as a grammar nerd, it was a really nice list. I do also believe that it can also apply to being friends with a grammar nerd. In any case, I took the list and wrote my responses down after them. Anything in bold came form the original post form Though Catalog. My responses are brief, but mostly because for some of them I had to restrain myself or the response may have reached the point many consider “too long” for a blog post. Hope you enjoy, and feel free to share any other items you think should be on this list.

  1. Avoid sending texts like luv u. It will make everything horrible.
    • Yes, indeed it does. There is a reason that my texts are pretty much always written out “formally” (proper grammar, and such).
  1. If you ever give them an eloquent, handwritten card along with a gift, they’ll be so preoccupied with the beautiful card that they’ll forget that there’s a second part of the present.
    • Well, I may not forget about the second part, but a handwritten card would be beautiful and I would be very excited about it.
  1. If they tweet something that has a mistake in it, you better believe they will delete it and repost the whole thing all over again. Thank God Facebook and Instagram allow for edits.
    • Yes, I will either delete it, edit it, or shame myself (publicly) for the mistake.
  1. They’re not proud of it. They don’t consider having an OCD-level obsession with grammar to be any sort of accomplishment. It’s more like an inconvenient personality flaw that drives them crazy, because spelling mistakes CANNOT BE DEFEATED.
    • It does drive me crazy, noticing mistakes and getting upset by them.
  1. The image of you sitting on the couch and casually reading a book will get them going in a way that they cannot explain.
    • I have no explanation or answer for this one.
  1. Even back in the day, they usually spelled everything out on AIM. While most tweens abbreviated every word possible while chatting it up with pals after Survivor was over, they were not about that life.
    • Well, I did watch Survivor (and though I stopped, I want to watch the next season). But yes, when things like AIM and MSN were things, I usually wrote everything out.
  1. So even if their crush messaged them with, “Hey wutz ^,” they were initially too distraught by the grammar to celebrate such an incredible moment in time.
    • Pretty much. Well, no, I did notice. But it would suck a little bit if they did that to me.
  1. And while we’re reminiscing, nothing was more thrilling for a middle school grammar nerd than that of finding a grammatical error in a textbook.
    • Oh gosh. I always got so excited. Frankly, I still do. Also, finding errors in menus is fun too.
  1. Autocorrect is simultaneously their savior and the bane of their existence. No, they are notducking excited. But it’s too late to do ANYTHING about it. The damage is DONE.
    • I always…always cringe when I send a message that gets autocorrected like that, or I type too fast to notice.
  1. When it comes to tv shows and movies, they were – and still are – always attracted to the nerdy person that the main character isn’t supposed to notice until the end. Hello, Gordo.
    • I do not know who Gordo is, but generally I do go for the unlikely option (most of the time).
  1. They have physical reactions (read: cringing, recoiling, light vomiting) to words like “irregardless.”
    • Something like that.
  1. Don’t bring up the Oxford comma if you’re not a fan. They will fight you to the death.
    • There is no other comma other than the Oxford comma. It is the comma, end of story.
  1. Apostrophes are a dangerous game. Tread lightly.
    • Indeed they are. I hate it when people us it’s when it should be its.
  1. Their fears include: typos and death. In that order.
    • Give me grammar or give me death. My grade 9 English teach always said that.
  1. They will use semi-colons in their text messages. Just embrace the pretentiousness. They’re well-aware that it’s annoying.
    • It’s only annoying if they are used improperly, friends.
  1. They’re already debating what age their nonexistent children will be when they introduce them to Harry Potter.
    • Oh, I already know the answer to this one. There is no debate required.
  1. They have a very hard time not judging coworkers based on how their emails are written. They know it’s a bad habit. They’re trying to quit. But what are they supposed to do when their boss emails them something that says Can u check the status of the report I need to no what the next steps are thx for looking in to in it.They should quit, right? Quitting is the only option here?
    • I had a supervisor years ago who always wrote in that fashion. They never used capital letters and always did things like “………..” when it should have only been “…”
  1. They are very emotional when it comes to there, they’re, and their, and your and you’re, and it’s and its. 
    • Indeed. Not as much as the comma, but enough at least.
  1. If you’re ever unsure of what their favorite subject was in school, just assume it was English.
    • It was English. It was always English.
  1. Their very concerned with making sure that every email they send out is flawless.
    • No. No no no.
  1. If they read this post, the incorrect spelling of their in #20 will give them a heart attack.
    • I cringed. That’s why I said no.

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