Many of you will have experienced those moments of doubt that start to crush everything that you are trying to build—trying to make of yourself. I’ve had them a lot over the last few weeks, but then I remembered something from one of my favourite things in the world.
“I just want you to know, there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble. A thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. But for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.” –Doctor Who
In my first year of university—which, frankly, was actually terrible and I very nearly quit and transferred back home because of a build-up of so many things—I printed off a picture I found online and taped it to my wall. I have no idea who created it, but I know that it builds upon the quote I have shared above, and what happened with Donna Noble in Doctor Who…and it’s a beautiful thought.
I can’t say that I will live without those moments of doubt—I’m not sure that anyone can—but I think that it’s time for me to take this thought, and live with it the best that I can. I guess it’s a perfect time too, considering it’s my birthday in two weeks. It’s not New Years, but it works for me.
I don’t want to be afraid of saying some of the things I want to say—even if I am risking things not going my way.
I want to dance again.
I want to finish a final draft of my novel and show the world—even if it isn’t perfect.
I want to trust myself.
I want to know that I did everything I could.
I want to write honestly.
I want to give things up that I know aren’t good for me—regardless of what others think.
I want to make the best choices for my future.
I want to have faith that things will work themselves out.
I want to live—not simply survive.
I want my happy ending—even if I have to wait.
It’s funny, I always seem to think deeply around a “significant” event. But really, I do believe that things will change for me. I mean, I graduate in less than a year, and then I’ll be in grad school regardless of where I end up living. I am finally going to travel. I have made promises to myself, and no matter their outcome I know that it will be better for me. I am, on the whole, proud of myself and what I have been able to do up until this point. And you know what? That’s what really matters, in the grand scheme of things. All I need is to be content with myself and not worry.
I am good enough.
I am important.
I am capable.